You build Self-confidence by getting away from the people that are out there trying to tear you down
The Universe will give you the chances you need to realize it is time to choose you. To vibrate higher. To remember who you are and let go of those who keep you from becoming who you were born to be.
Understand that at a quick glance you are the company you keep. You are the people you surround yourself with. The people around you, ARE a reflection of you. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re one of them. But it does mean that these people are clearly mirroring to you the areas of your life you are yet to heal and work on.
Until you are ready to vibrate higher, you’ll keep attracting and surrounding yourself with people like this. Or going through the same ‘situations’ just different faces.
I am not going to dive into the whole “high vibrational” schmear, but just know that you attract what you are. This means that whatever is at a similar energy vibration to you will appear in your life. … If you are vibrating at a high or low energy frequency, your energy vibrations will attract the type of people vibrating at the same frequency as you.
I have learned that when you find yourself repeating the same scenarios or in situations were you are thinking “wait, I have been down this road before”, this is the Universe just giving you another chance (for the 10000 time probably by now), to change that. Yes, The Universe is that abundant 😉🙃.
If you are there wondering why does this keep happening to you? Why do you keep going through the same thing over and over again? And it just feels unfair. Maybe re-consider, what is the lesson you are not learning? Where are you not choosing you? Where are you not loving you? Or why are you still putting up with the bottom dwellers?
It might seem unfair but The Universe is doing you a favor in reminding you that it is time to value yourself more and be ok with letting go of the people that no longer align with the version of yourself you need to become.
Now let’s get into the real deal…
You have absolutely no control over other people’s actions and behaviors, and you never will. But you are in complete control on how you want to be made feel and how you allow others to treat you. Maybe you just need to draw the line a little bigger and a little deeper this time.
Unfortunately, when your sense of self-worth is low, this is easier said than done. But that’s a muscle you can work on. Believing in yourself sometimes looks like finding the strength left in you to let go of the people not meant for you. Instead of giving that relationship a last fight; whether that is with a family member, a friend or a romantic partner. Use what is left in you to remove yourself from people who can’t see the value in you.
Are you really willing to keep accepting breadcrumbs, just because you rather have the little to no effort and attention, than nothing at all? If the answer is no, give yourself permission to walk the heck away.
Recognize that if there’s something in someone’s behavior you don’t like, yet you are permitting, maybe the problem is not them. Maybe the problem is you. As harsh as it sounds. Because what you’re not changing, YOU ARE choosing.
Whatever it is that people keep doing to you, that you’re sick of, you are allowing. People’s disrespect is not always on them, sometimes that’s on you.
So if you want different, choose different.
However, I want you to know that people can only give from what they have. So the only reason why people are constantly trying to dim your light it’s because it is in your light that they see their shadow. It is in your light that they can see all the things that are wrong with them. That’s just how it is, broken people, break people.
If you are being mistreated don’t dwell on the idea that it is because you are not worthy of love or that you are not enough, ‘that maybe if you were’ these people would treat you differently. They still wouldn’t because again, we can only give from what we have.
Let go of the voices that tell you that this is about you, it is not, this is about them. Hurt people, hurt people. You are wildly worthy and worth it.
One of the healthies things I have learned on this journey is to hold myself accountable for the roles I play with others. Do me wrong once, shame on you; but do me wrong twice, that’s on me.
People you surround yourself with are a reflection of your personal values. In order to shift this idea you need to start believing that you are worthy of more. That you are worthy of people who can value you and treat you with respect.
Deb Sofield said: If you can’t change the people around you…change the people around you.
When you’re extremely self-assured, you have a strong sense of self-worth and you are more than capable of asking for what you know you are worthy of receiving. Your sense of worth gives you the courage to go after what you want and to proactively demand what you know you are deserving of. And at the same time, you are courageous enough to eliminate anyone in your life who doesn’t align with that.
They already showed you who they are, you needed that. Be grateful for that, and give up trying to be loved, liked or accepted by them and use that energy to show them how worthy you are by walking the hell away from them and their energy. Even if it feels scary.
There’s a quote I love that says: feel the fear and do it anyway.
That’s how you start building your sense of worth and self-assurance. By pushing through the most uncomfortable situations. Trust me, your confidence is on the other side of fear.
The people who couldn’t value when you were there, will do the moment you step out. That’s how it is. These people always come running after you. But by the time they realize that it’ll be too late to try to make you stay. Don’t give them another chance to prove you they are the exact same person why you left.
Let them realize later that they did wrong to the right person. But don’t stay there waiting for them to see that. Stop compromising your self-worth, morals or your values just to keep them around.
You are deserving of having a seat at the table. A table where you will be treated and welcomed with respect. And in some cases if this is not the case; if they can’t appreciate you for who you are and what you bring to the table, then you know what? You’ve got to create your own table. Get up, leave and let them choke on their crap. And learn to eat alone.
And last but not least…
Stop waiting to be validated. Become the person you want to surround yourself with. And be brave enough to leave behind the people who are constantly trying to bring you down.
You become Self-assured when you stop being the go-to, to people you can’t go to. When you realize you don’t need anyone who doesn’t need you. That you don’t need to keep choosing people, who has to think twice about choosing you. Whether that’s family, friends, partners, a boss, situationships, you name it. Leave.
I read this somewhere: “The fear of leaving will make us stay in places we know we don’t belong.” If that doesn’t streak a cord, I don’t know what will. Don’t let your desire to “belong”, make you stay around people who are NOT your people.
And yes you may end up alone. Because choosing yourself sometimes is a lonely road. But I promise you that ain’t going to kill you. Eventually you’ll find the right people or they will find you, either way they will come along. Hard to believe but there’s this beautiful thing that happens when you let go of the wrong people; you clear the space for the right people to show up.
There are genuine people out there who will not try to clip your wings every time they get a chance. Instead they’ll delight in the beauty of how you soar.
Remember that no reason to stay is reason enough to leave.
PS: I specifically wrote this post referring to a friend and a family member. But I have also been in situationships and relationships not meant for me. So this is me finally coming to terms that my relationship with them has come to an end. And that is time for me to let go of me trying to fix something I didn’t break.
For too long I operated with the thought that I had to fight harder for people I cared for, so they could see what they mean for me. In hopes that I could be reciprocated.
It took me along time to realize that if someone wants me in their life, they would be putting in the same effort, I was putting in. That they would treat me with the same respect I was treating them. And they would let me know they valued me, the same way I was letting them know.
This is me 1. Listening to what The Universe has been asking of me. 2. Realizing that what people do to us is rarely ever about us. And 3. Finally letting go of the people not meant for me.
May you find the strength to walk away. May you understand that what people do to you is never a reflection of you, is a reflection of them. May you find the love and reassurance you are looking for, within.
Love,
Sofia.
Interested in Portrayals of the Wild Feminine www.highsheflies.com 🐆 ✨| Find me on Instagram: sofi.cc
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