When life shakes you to your core, you have two options; you either let that grow you or break you. When grief takes you to your knees, and you’re face to face with the parts of you that say you won’t make it through, you hold yourself tightly and trust that this period of your life has something to teach you. And that you’ll make it to the other side.
High She Flies came to life after a really dark time in my life. It came to life from also wanting to heal years of emotional wounds; from leaning into self-discovery and inner-work. It took me over a year to realize that I wasn’t ok; that I hadn’t been in a long time. And it took me another year of soul-searching to find healing and become my most authentic self in the process. Doing this required to get honest with myself and the role I had played in every situation and moment in my life that had lead me to that point.
I came to terms with the fact that no amount of wishful thinking could change my past or my decisions. So because I couldn’t change my past, I decided to grow from it.
“You really can only hide for so long.”
For so long I had been pretending that I was ok, when I was not, and it took absolutely everything in me to do this, until I couldn’t do it anymore. I found myself getting triggered on a daily basis and being emotionally drained for long periods of time. I exhausted myself and ran out of energy trying to show up in the world as this person who had it all together when I was far from that.
The greatest gift I’ve been given in my life was finding the courage to face my pain and to speak up about it. Through it not only did I find myself but I found a way to share the wisdom my pain gave me, and something I feel passionate about.
Healing yourself is messy. It is not all rainbows and butterflies . Especially when you have been numbing the pain and living in denial for so long. Getting honest with yourself it is of the hardest things. Because you need to hold yourself accountable for how things played out and the role you played in your journey.
I wish more people understood healing is an active practice. It is not a destination, it’s a process, and it is a hell of a long one. That you need to commit to yourself and your healing, by making a habit out of it. You show up every day, even on the days you have no desire to. Even when it is not comfortable. Because you understand that your healing is the one thing no one else can do for you. No one is going to hand you a silver plate with a new restored version of yourself. Ever.
But in the process of healing not only do you become your biggest cheerleader, and your own best friend. You also learn to empower yourself and the chapters of your life, good or bad, that got you to this point in life. You start doing what is best for you, regardless of how that looks like for others. Even if that means having to “ghost” people and going MIA for over a year (like I did, because I had to). At the end of the day your healing doesn’t have to make sense for anyone else but you.
Healing will grant you the power to believe in yourself and deem yourself lovable, and whole just as you are. Once you choose to heal from everything that was meant to break you, you won’t allow anyone into your life who tries to tell you or do you otherwise. Knowing who you are and what makes you -you, makes the opinions of others hold less weight.
“You are not the things floating in the river. You are the river itself.”
You need to believe that everything that has happened, is here to teach you something. You don’t have to become those things. Whether it’s pain. You have to let pain become your teacher, not become it. Let it come to the surface, let it show you what is here to show you, and then let it go. Until then, pain will keep showing up in every area of your life until you’re ready to face it. And unwanted situations will keep repeating themselves until you learn the lesson.
I created High She Flies, to share what helped me restore my worth and re-gain self-confidence. In hopes that my experiences and the path I took, can do the same for you. Learning to love ourselves in the process of healing feels next to impossible. My self-learning courses are meant to guide you and empower you through your process of inner-healing and self-discovery.
Our stories may not be the same, I may not have all the answers you need and what worked for me might not necessarily work for you; however you are not alone in your experience and you don’t have to be.
Inner-work will pave the way for you. You can become whole again. Drop your old story, and rewrite yourself a new one. Once you learn to empower yourself, every fear and every pain will begin to dissipate.
In the meantime I’ll be here to remind you of your worth and support you while you find the way back to yourself.
Love,
Sofia
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